This past weekend we all traveled up to Six Nations to attend a surprise birthday party for my older sister VJQ. She turned 60 on January 2nd. Trying to keep a big venture like an intimate gathering for 50-60 people secret isn’t an easy undertaking. Doing all the organizing on the down low was a lot easier with the utilization of Facebook (fb). My niece, Vanessa was able to send out her original idea back in October to everyone involved, her brother Vinton and all her aunts. From that point everyone was able to add their input and volunteer to do something to make her big day memorable.
My contribution was to put together a Power Point slide show with pictures of all her friends and family members through the years. I was able again to employ fb to gather pictures of VJQ and her children, and extended family. After working on this labor of love for my sister I ended with 99 slides and many pictures of my parents and grandparents I had never seen before. It is always fun to look at old pictures that captures your likeness in a moment in time whether you are in your “Sunday go to meeting” finery or maybe in your underwear. It is all there in glorious Technicolor or black and white depending on how old the picture is. I have to admit I love pictures, who doesn’t? I love the way people laugh at their baby pictures, no matter their age. The way everyone says “OMG look how skinny I was then.” It is a walk down memory lane that never disappoints, unless of course it is a really bad picture that is not flattering to the viewer. Everyone else usually gets a good laugh regardless.
Listening to the morning news as I write this the announcer mentioned that Hugh Hefner is engaged to a 24 year old woman, one who said she doesn’t see the age difference. He then said she probably can’t tell the difference between a grape and a raisin. Age is a big definer. One some people try desperately to fight against. Getting a little long in the tooth is not something people want to admit to. Sometimes some people may long for those “glory days” when we were 50 pounds thinner, our hair was thicker, our face was smoother, we could get out of bed with a spring in our step and shake our junk so hard with no painful after effects. Hence the big cosmetic surgery industry. Nancy Pelosi on the TV with nary a wrinkly fold in her forehead, a crow’s foot, or turkey neck in sight. Ah, the wonders a scalpel and Botox can achieve, or the opposite, think Kenny Rodgers.
I think more importantly when people yearn for their youth they yearn for a time when things were uncomplicated, when there wasn’t as much stress to deal with, a “do over”. Many people have some regrets that they carry around with themselves, every day like a full garbage bag of slights, hurts, doubts, and they secretly wish for a “do over”, an “if only…” Those are the people who are not happy as they age. But for others, especially mothers and grandmothers, the joy they find in their families love offsets any reluctance to age that they could possibly have. Families are the cornerstone of love and society, in my mind anyways.
The best part of VJQs party was seeing people who at one time where a very important part of her life but because of the bizyness of life she hasn’t seen for weeks or months, maybe even years. It was such a delight to be able to touch base with old friends, to play catch up and find out what everyone else has been doing. To hear about grown children, grand children, jobs, loves, losses. Life goes on for everyone whether they are an integral part of your day or one you try to keep up with now on fb. It is these connections that enrich our lives.
The other part of her birthday I enjoyed was remembering all those who are no longer with us. Seeing all their pictures up on that screen warmed the cockles of my heart which in turn rekindled memories of those in attendance. The PowerPoint slides were like a process of remembering people, events, stories which in turn brought stories bubbling to the forefront of everyone’s mind. It was this act that allowed stories to flow freely and these shared experiences then allowed the young people there to learn more about VJQs life and about our connections. Winter time is traditionally a time of storytelling, which teaches us skills and passes along beliefs we may need to draw upon in our life, or just helps us to remember those who have gone before us.
Peg or maybe it was Bean brought a box of small cards that were put on every table. These were called “Wishes”. The intent was for everyone to write on their card their wishes for VJQs upcoming year. These were read and for the most part they were all wishing her happiness, and continued good health in the coming year. Some wished for her a new man with a “big one” and $$ to go with him. This of course then brought about more storytelling and hilarity. It was a wonderful day and it leaves me hoping for a 70th birthday gala to again reconnect with friends and family.
This new year brings opportunities for new beginnings and another fabulous event I am looking forward. Ness and her beloved with be exchanging vows this year. :) <3 <3 This will again bring together our clan and well as his for more connections and storytelling.
Nya:weh to Ness and Daniel for all their hard work and determination in keeping VJQs birthday a secret. <3 u!
Happy New Year!!
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